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UPG:Kinship
• a story about family and my being fae •
For as long as I can remember parts of my identity seldom made sense to me. I tried to the best of my ability to search for an answer.
Some searches were successes but many were failures.
I labeled myself as a lost cause.
I was envious of those around me who had even the slightest grasps to their memories or their past. A staple that in one way, shape, or form had facilitated something about that person's being. Anything. I matured from that line of thought. I dissected the good and the bad from that statement. I gained a less self-doubting perspective of myself. I wanted to know if there was more to me than I knew.
It was quite the stubborn desire.
The things I wanted to know were simple. I never drifted from my comfort zone. I did not think of anything too outlandish because there is only so my own reality allows I thought. So, who am I? Why am I? I can with enough confidence answer that first question.
NOTE: This is UPG!
These my beliefs about my own experiences, knowledge, and identification. Thus, it is unverified personal gnosis. I understand how my story might come across horrifically cliche… but it is valid to me. Thank you for your understanding.
Some searches were successes but many were failures.
I labeled myself as a lost cause.
I was envious of those around me who had even the slightest grasps to their memories or their past. A staple that in one way, shape, or form had facilitated something about that person's being. Anything. I matured from that line of thought. I dissected the good and the bad from that statement. I gained a less self-doubting perspective of myself. I wanted to know if there was more to me than I knew.
It was quite the stubborn desire.
The things I wanted to know were simple. I never drifted from my comfort zone. I did not think of anything too outlandish because there is only so my own reality allows I thought. So, who am I? Why am I? I can with enough confidence answer that first question.
NOTE: This is UPG!
These my beliefs about my own experiences, knowledge, and identification. Thus, it is unverified personal gnosis. I understand how my story might come across horrifically cliche… but it is valid to me. Thank you for your understanding.
Why am I?
Why was I born a human even though I am most definitely Fae?
What I learned will forever be one of the happiest memories in my years on this colorful planet.
I am sure I have mentioned Sgian's name here and there, over the river and through the woods yes? Sgian the Brownie. Yes. He has always been there for me, a steadfast friend and a mouthy fellow. I respect him. He shares my personal gnosis and vice versa. He has taught me many things about Faerie, our kind, history. A handful of what I know in these past six years is in light of Sgian. But, never did I know the things he kept from me or how serious it was.
Fae are careful about secrets. Persnickety about certain thing we share about ourselves.… or in this case about others.
Sgian is able to talk to others through me, so I am able to transcribe for him. Once he talked to an old friend of mine about something important that they had apparently discussed way before then. I knew nothing of it. If it were not for Skype history I would not know half the conversations Sgian's had. For two months, my friend kept this secret. Sgian later told once I had shown signs of my growth and maturity as a young spirit. Sgian has kept this secret from me for many years.
One of the reasons why I'm here is to see that Earth has many good things. As a faery, it is important to see things from a human point of view to expand my knowledge. To experience all manners of things and meet new people/allies. To have a life where anything is possible. I never understood why I was so earthbound, but that definitely made good sense. Who wouldn't want a nice life? But why was so much effort put into my well-being? Why had Sgian kept this from me for so long?
Sgian has watched over me for quite a long time. I always assumed he was protective over me because I'm so much younger than he. (Sgian is fucking old). I thought I had only known him since met when I was fourteen years old. But the both of us meeting was not coincidence. Sgian is my friend and guardian all in one. But why do I have a guardian? Guardians are a pretty serious thing to have. Who am I?
Life-changing.
Why? It is because I learned that was born from nobles of Faerie– as cliche or grandeur as that might sound, it is the of utmost honesty. (I am not trying to be a tragic lost fairy princess…) That is the very last thing I would have expected to be pushed on a person in one day. Faerie, My ''home'' realm. The City of Everlasting Change… and nobles. One noble from the Unseelie Court, my father, the other from the Spring Court, my mother. They met in hopes of making lands [in Faerie] free from inter-Court conflict.
When I was born in 1993 (mind you time in Faerie is different than on Earth) there was a political battle in Faerie. The battle was between the Unseelie, the Seelie (their allies, one of which is Spring), and the Solitary Fae (or Wild Fae). The battle manifested over the high demand of expanding the Courts' territories. My parents were rebels, or more respectfully known as, freedom fighters and they died shortly after I was 'born'. They died in honor. They hoped to try and make a stand for a shared space for all the Courts and Solitaries. But at that time, court-neutral places (a Fae term used in politics coined by Solitary Fae) were unheard of. Sgian was a member of the Autumn Court during that time. He was also a dear friend of my father. It was my parents' wish long before I was 'born' to be born human so I could have many experiences.
But of course, I see there was a reason for this.
Why was I born a human even though I am most definitely Fae?
What I learned will forever be one of the happiest memories in my years on this colorful planet.
I am sure I have mentioned Sgian's name here and there, over the river and through the woods yes? Sgian the Brownie. Yes. He has always been there for me, a steadfast friend and a mouthy fellow. I respect him. He shares my personal gnosis and vice versa. He has taught me many things about Faerie, our kind, history. A handful of what I know in these past six years is in light of Sgian. But, never did I know the things he kept from me or how serious it was.
Fae are careful about secrets. Persnickety about certain thing we share about ourselves.… or in this case about others.
Sgian is able to talk to others through me, so I am able to transcribe for him. Once he talked to an old friend of mine about something important that they had apparently discussed way before then. I knew nothing of it. If it were not for Skype history I would not know half the conversations Sgian's had. For two months, my friend kept this secret. Sgian later told once I had shown signs of my growth and maturity as a young spirit. Sgian has kept this secret from me for many years.
One of the reasons why I'm here is to see that Earth has many good things. As a faery, it is important to see things from a human point of view to expand my knowledge. To experience all manners of things and meet new people/allies. To have a life where anything is possible. I never understood why I was so earthbound, but that definitely made good sense. Who wouldn't want a nice life? But why was so much effort put into my well-being? Why had Sgian kept this from me for so long?
Sgian has watched over me for quite a long time. I always assumed he was protective over me because I'm so much younger than he. (Sgian is fucking old). I thought I had only known him since met when I was fourteen years old. But the both of us meeting was not coincidence. Sgian is my friend and guardian all in one. But why do I have a guardian? Guardians are a pretty serious thing to have. Who am I?
Life-changing.
Why? It is because I learned that was born from nobles of Faerie– as cliche or grandeur as that might sound, it is the of utmost honesty. (I am not trying to be a tragic lost fairy princess…) That is the very last thing I would have expected to be pushed on a person in one day. Faerie, My ''home'' realm. The City of Everlasting Change… and nobles. One noble from the Unseelie Court, my father, the other from the Spring Court, my mother. They met in hopes of making lands [in Faerie] free from inter-Court conflict.
When I was born in 1993 (mind you time in Faerie is different than on Earth) there was a political battle in Faerie. The battle was between the Unseelie, the Seelie (their allies, one of which is Spring), and the Solitary Fae (or Wild Fae). The battle manifested over the high demand of expanding the Courts' territories. My parents were rebels, or more respectfully known as, freedom fighters and they died shortly after I was 'born'. They died in honor. They hoped to try and make a stand for a shared space for all the Courts and Solitaries. But at that time, court-neutral places (a Fae term used in politics coined by Solitary Fae) were unheard of. Sgian was a member of the Autumn Court during that time. He was also a dear friend of my father. It was my parents' wish long before I was 'born' to be born human so I could have many experiences.
But of course, I see there was a reason for this.
My Family
My parents were both young. If they were still alive they would be about Sgian's age to date and as a reminder, in Earth years they were OLD. My mother's name was Pepper. Lady Pepper. She was a songstress and skilled fighter. She was about two shades browner than my complexion, and the average female human height of 5'7''. She had crystal clear eyes, the color of a dark amber. Sgian described their shape as almond–half moons. She had a beautiful body, agile, and quick but silent on her feet. I was told me that she had two tattooed arms bands with a beautiful indigenous-fae design. They looked like swirls and wisps of feathers. Lady Pepper had black-iridescent wings, they were dragonfly-esque wings. So two sets- top and bottom. I have her smile, the way she smiles to be more exact and her long ebony hair. Hers was longer than mine, down to her ass apparently.
When Sgian was telling me all this he had paused for a moment.
He said, "You know Little Miss, you are so much like your parents it is scary, and yet you are not like them at all. When Pepper told your father he would soon have you the tears he had in his eyes, they were waterfalls. Your mother had a smug look on her face.. and I? Well, I was laughing at my best man for crying so much."
This made me cry.
My father's name was Aeior. It is pronounced [eye-YOR]. Lord Aeior. He was a knight and an artist, and tended a garden out of respect and love for my mother. It was symbolic. He also said that in the garden he planted native flowers that grew near my mother's land. He was a tan complexion, with dark gray-brown eyes shaped like almonds. His hair was jaw length, burgundy and loosely curled at the ends. He was 5'9–10'' in height. Always had a smirk on his face. Pointy teeth like Sgian, but not like a vampire's– just their incisors. Yes, and his wings were large, dark brown bat wings. He also had a nice body, built well, and agile.
When Sgian was telling me all this he had paused for a moment.
He said, "You know Little Miss, you are so much like your parents it is scary, and yet you are not like them at all. When Pepper told your father he would soon have you the tears he had in his eyes, they were waterfalls. Your mother had a smug look on her face.. and I? Well, I was laughing at my best man for crying so much."
This made me cry.
My father's name was Aeior. It is pronounced [eye-YOR]. Lord Aeior. He was a knight and an artist, and tended a garden out of respect and love for my mother. It was symbolic. He also said that in the garden he planted native flowers that grew near my mother's land. He was a tan complexion, with dark gray-brown eyes shaped like almonds. His hair was jaw length, burgundy and loosely curled at the ends. He was 5'9–10'' in height. Always had a smirk on his face. Pointy teeth like Sgian, but not like a vampire's– just their incisors. Yes, and his wings were large, dark brown bat wings. He also had a nice body, built well, and agile.
Lord Aeior, the Little One, Lady Pepper
art by Rachel Baggs
Long after, Sgian had a long talk with me about the death of my parents (Pepper and Aeior). I had the unfortunate thought of why is there some recurring theme of me having to lose my mother? Granted, I didn't know Pepper, but you know… it hurts, even though it is nothing compared to me losing my human mom… but yes. I found out they died shortly after I was born… in battle. Fighting for change. It was merciless and painful. Sgian had to see his beloved friend and his friend's wife die. Part of their dying wish was for Sgian to guard over me. Both Aeior and Pepper had their wings broken, and in our culture means the ultimate dishonor, and ultimate pain. During that time it was illegal for members of certain courts to build relationships. My mother was a noblewoman of the Spring Court and my father a nobleman of Unseelie. In the eyes of many others: their bond should have not happened… let alone have a kid.
As of now, I have no idea of how I was born from there… well I mean I do, like basic incarnation. I understand that me using the word born a lot can be a bit confusing. The time I was created fae-wise was an incarnation perfectly aligned with my human birth. No recollection of my parents, why would I have any? The knowledge of my parents was kept from me, though Sgian had his reasons. I needed to mature. I have, but it is sad.
I do not envy people who have memories of people they knew, but it would be nice if I had that too… it makes me homesick. *chuckle*
I would love to know where they grew up, and more Faerie things. It is bittersweet to see my family looking at me, from the portrait. There is so much I don't know about my kin, but time has given me this much, so I am blessed in that sense. This is a memento for me. Because of Sgian, I know they loved me and… they helped fashion an important part of myself. I'll wait though and take Sgian's advice: One step at a time.
I'm grateful for what I do know.
As of now, I have no idea of how I was born from there… well I mean I do, like basic incarnation. I understand that me using the word born a lot can be a bit confusing. The time I was created fae-wise was an incarnation perfectly aligned with my human birth. No recollection of my parents, why would I have any? The knowledge of my parents was kept from me, though Sgian had his reasons. I needed to mature. I have, but it is sad.
I do not envy people who have memories of people they knew, but it would be nice if I had that too… it makes me homesick. *chuckle*
I would love to know where they grew up, and more Faerie things. It is bittersweet to see my family looking at me, from the portrait. There is so much I don't know about my kin, but time has given me this much, so I am blessed in that sense. This is a memento for me. Because of Sgian, I know they loved me and… they helped fashion an important part of myself. I'll wait though and take Sgian's advice: One step at a time.
I'm grateful for what I do know.